Thoughtful Thursday: You

February 25, 2010

Thoughtful ThursdayWe’ve talked about qualities from your partner and other relatives that you might like to see in your (future) children, but we haven’t talked about you.

What qualities would you like to pass on to your children?

My #1 personality trait is conscientiousness, in all senses of the word. It’s served me well.

I’ve always had tremendous self-control, even as a young child. Hopefully that will balance out my husband’s genetic contribution.

Burrito and Tamale both seem to have inherited my straight-as-can-be hair. Perhaps this will save Tamale many hours of blow-drying and flat-ironing someday — unless she wants curly hair instead.

I love to learn. I love to experience all sorts of things that expand my mind and my horizons.

I am patient.

I am brave at the doctor’s.

I am never bored.

I am good with technology but I also appreciate antiquities like record players and pocket watches.

I am helpful.

When I love someone, I love them like crazy.

What qualities would you like to pass on to your children?

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Perfect Moment

This week I tried something on for size a couple of times.

No, not my old jeans. I can’t even pull those up, much less button them.

I tried being honest about infertility.

Babysitter: Do twins run in your family?
Me: Not really, we had twins as a result of fertility treatments.
Babysitter: Oh, okay. I was asking because my mom is a twin, and my sister always says that she thinks we’ll both have twins.

It turns out the “do twins run in the family?” question sometimes has a non-nosy motivation.

Colleague who came over to meet the babies and bring us a casserole: Did you know that you might have twins? Do you have a family history? Were you shocked?
Me: They were the result of fertility treatments.
Colleague: Oh, so you were just glad it wasn’t three or four or more!
Me: Actually yes.

I outed myself and the world didn’t end. In fact, every time I have done so, it has gone rather well.

Still not ready to go as far as telling our families, but I could get used to this honesty thing.

Find more Perfect Moments at Weebles Wobblog.

Thoughtful Thursday: Relative

February 18, 2010

Thoughtful ThursdayLast week we thought about the qualities in your partner that you’d like to see passed on to your present or future children.

Of course, partners aren’t the only contributors, either to genetics or environment. What about the rest of the family?

What qualities of your and your partner’s relatives would you hope to see passed on to your child(ren)?

Although I never imagined it could happen, given my coloring, Burrito inherited his grandfather and great-grandmother’s strawberry blond hair. Other than that, so far it’s hard to tell what they’re getting from the rest of the family. Here are some things I wouldn’t mind seeing in them someday:

  • Generosity from my mother
  • Ability to charm anyone and adjust to any situation from my father
  • Intellectual curiosity from DH’s father (and DH and me too)
  • Enjoyment of gift-giving from DH’s stepmother
  • Love of animals from DH’s mother and paternal grandmother (and DH too)
  • Willingness to stand up for beliefs from DH’s paternal grandfather
  • Longevity from DH’s maternal grandmother
  • Compassion from DH’s sister — not the Murphy sister, a different one
  • Openness from my paternal grandmother, who’s game for just about anything and remarkably silly for a woman in her 80s
  • Incredible closeness to their twin from my twin cousins

What qualities of your and your partner’s relatives would you hope to see passed on to your child(ren)?

Happy Love Day

February 14, 2010

…and Happy Lunar New Year!

If you commented on this week’s Thoughtful Thursday, now would be an opportune time to tell him all of the things you adore about him that you’d like to see in your children someday. It’s pretty likely that your partner doesn’t read my comments section, so he won’t know unless you tell him yourself.

If you haven’t commented yet, please do. Then tell.

My husband’s reaction to the post:

That was a really sweet post, but I have a question. Do other people not go up the stairs two or three at a time? Seriously? They just go one at a time? Really? Why?

I love you, my long-legged, high-energy sweetheart.

Thoughtful Thursday: Qualities

February 11, 2010

Thoughtful ThursdayIn honor of Valentine’s Day, let’s think about the good qualities of your partner. Specifically, let’s consider what qualities you want your partner and your future children to have in common. That’s part of why we want children in the first place, right? To see the best of our loved ones personified in a new being?

You can answer whether you have children or are still family-building. The question also applies whether or not your partner is the biological parent of the child(ren); qualities can be passed along genetically or through parenting and example. If you don’t have a partner, you can think about the good qualities of a potential partner or of the child’s biological parent.

What qualities of your partner would you hope that your partner passes on to your child(ren)?

Let me first start by saying that Burrito and Tamale are their own people, and we love them no matter what they are like. Nonetheless, they do have some qualities they’ve inherited, and the list of those qualities will probably continue to grow.

Already I can see so much of my husband in my children, especially in my son. They share the same high energy, long legs, blue eyes — the exact same color. Their faces show incredible similarities, so much so that friends have looked at Burrito and made remarks such as, “DH, did you miniaturize yourself?” My daughter, so far, has less in common with her father, with the exception of his huge smile.

As they get older, I would love to see both of them display some combination of their father’s enormous intelligence, generous heart, sweetness, interest in other cultures, stalwart friendship, silliness, skill with all sorts of people, and joie de vivre. Some of these they may inherit genetically, and some they will hopefully learn through example and guidance.

My husband climbs stairs two or three at a time, and he approaches life very much the same way. If Burrito and Tamale take after him, I don’t envy our poor stairs, but oh, what energy the house will have.

What qualities of your partner would you hope that your partner passes on to your child(ren)?

Show and Tell: Rattled

February 10, 2010

Show and TellIt has been far too long since I participated in Show and Tell. This particular object is also long overdue.

Earlier this week, I showed you the act-of-faith mobile that we bought for our theoretical baby just a couple of days after my first beta from Perfunctory IUI #7. First, I’d like to follow up on that post. The view that I depicted had all of the pieces lined up. FYI, here’s what it looks like when a breeze is blowing and the components spin independently. Burrito and Tamale seem to like looking at it whether it’s lined up or jumbled.

The other act-of-faith purchase during that trip was a rattle. We were in the ancient synagogue in Barcelona, itself an incredibly special place. It is the oldest synagogue in Europe. It’s just two rooms underground. Everyone forgot it was a synagogue for a few hundred years and instead it was being used for various purposes including a storage closet. The first day we tried to visit, we got there after closing time because it was so hard to find because it’s just a little door on a random street.

When we finally made it inside the next day, we were treated to the cutest little tour of two rooms. Sort of like visiting someone’s studio apartment and being given a 10-minute tour, if that studio apartment had been built almost 2000 years ago. We wanted to support their grassroots attempt to preserve history — they don’t even have an entrance fee — but their gift shop was beyond tiny. I have more stuff on top of my TV than they have in their gift shop. (I really should tidy the top of my TV…)

Among the few items for sale was a rattle with some Hebrew letters and Judaic symbols. There was no price tag, so they made up a number. We shrugged and paid them happily.

Burrito and Tamale aren’t yet at the stage where they play with rattles, but it’s getting close. I’m not sure what they’ll think of this rattle compared to all of their other toys, but to me it’s very special.


Perfect Moment
Last March, when I was barely pregnant, as in ‘only one beta and even that had been done early because I was flying away to the Land of Don Quixote’ pregnant, I made a couple of purchases. Both were tremendous leaps of faith that the pregnancy would stick around and result in a Real Live Baby. Both of the purchases waited in a box until the time, if and when, they would be useful.

One of them I’ll post later this week at Show and Tell.

Here is the other one: a mobile we bought in Barcelona. DH and I stood in a museum gift shop for a length of time probably suspicious to gift shop employees, debating with ourselves and each other whether we really could let ourselves buy something for a baby that we didn’t yet trust to come into existence. Together, we made that leap of faith.

It didn’t seem right to put the mobile up when I was pregnant. Too presumptuous.

After the babies came, things were too crazy to put it up. When they calmed down a little, momentarily, I tried to put it up, got out the ladder and everything, but the spot I picked wasn’t amenable. It was impossible to find a time when the babies were both out of the nursery yet I was available to drill holes in the ceiling.

Then, instead of the spot I’d first picked, I wanted to use it over one of their cribs, but I couldn’t figure out a foolproof way to ensure that it was safe to dangle over the crib. When I bought a developmental mobile with a built-in crib clamp, DH said with a little hurt in his voice, “But what about our mobile?” It was so sweet.

Finally, this weekend, I figured out a way to put up our mobile that did not involve a power drill or risking anything crashing onto my babies’ heads.

The first Perfect Moment is actually getting something done.

The even more Perfect Moment is seeing one of my babies look up from the changing table, watch the mobile turning in the breeze, and laugh. That is why I made that purchase. That is why I did all of it, really. All of the years of treatments, and waiting, and emotions, and more waiting. I did it all for that little giggle.

view from the changing table

See more Perfect Moments at Weebles Wobblog.