Thoughtful Thursday: Qualities

February 11, 2010

Thoughtful ThursdayIn honor of Valentine’s Day, let’s think about the good qualities of your partner. Specifically, let’s consider what qualities you want your partner and your future children to have in common. That’s part of why we want children in the first place, right? To see the best of our loved ones personified in a new being?

You can answer whether you have children or are still family-building. The question also applies whether or not your partner is the biological parent of the child(ren); qualities can be passed along genetically or through parenting and example. If you don’t have a partner, you can think about the good qualities of a potential partner or of the child’s biological parent.

What qualities of your partner would you hope that your partner passes on to your child(ren)?

Let me first start by saying that Burrito and Tamale are their own people, and we love them no matter what they are like. Nonetheless, they do have some qualities they’ve inherited, and the list of those qualities will probably continue to grow.

Already I can see so much of my husband in my children, especially in my son. They share the same high energy, long legs, blue eyes — the exact same color. Their faces show incredible similarities, so much so that friends have looked at Burrito and made remarks such as, “DH, did you miniaturize yourself?” My daughter, so far, has less in common with her father, with the exception of his huge smile.

As they get older, I would love to see both of them display some combination of their father’s enormous intelligence, generous heart, sweetness, interest in other cultures, stalwart friendship, silliness, skill with all sorts of people, and joie de vivre. Some of these they may inherit genetically, and some they will hopefully learn through example and guidance.

My husband climbs stairs two or three at a time, and he approaches life very much the same way. If Burrito and Tamale take after him, I don’t envy our poor stairs, but oh, what energy the house will have.

What qualities of your partner would you hope that your partner passes on to your child(ren)?

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22 Responses to “Thoughtful Thursday: Qualities”

  1. Elana Kahn Says:

    I hope my hubby passed on his amazing sense of humor and his quiet sensitivity. I also hope he passed on his generosity and faith.

  2. mekate Says:

    Lighthearted joy, a big belly laugh, laid back calmness (but not insufferable inertia), a love of music, playfulness, rhythm, kindness and compassion.

  3. a Says:

    Ha! My daughter looks just like me and acts just like her father. It’s disconcerting. I hope she gets his sense and his ability to figure things out and fix things. I hope I can teach her the empathy that her father lacks (and she lacks it too, so far, but she’s young and that’s how toddlers are). I hope she does not get his educational struggles – he didn’t really excel until he was in college and more mature. I also hope that she can go outside her genes and examples, and take life in stride waaaaay better than my husband and I.


  4. Oh, this is like my favorite subject. First of all, Betty is so already her own person, but I’ve already found out that she is like the worst baby ever to play peek-a-boo with b/c she’s just like her father in that instead of laughing or even smiling, she just looks between your hand and your face, trying to figure out where you went. I hope she keeps her father’s sense of inquisitiveness. I also hopes she inherits his follow-through and his ability to pick out the perfect present. Seriously, it’s uncanny!

  5. Lavender Luz Says:

    I love the way you see your family members. Bounding up the steps says so much.

    From DH, I’m seeing their zest for life, huge curiosity, more interest in playing (having fun) than being perfect, and really funny people.

    What a great question. I’m sure I’ll keep thinking of more traits as the night goes on.

  6. manapan Says:

    How sweet! I hope Burrito and Tamale get all the qualities you’ve hoped for.

    Physically, I’d love to see our child end up with Prawn’s super curly hair, full lips, infectious smile, perfect teeth, and height. (Actually, I’m pretty sure they will get the height, considering I’m 5’10” and he’s 6’4″.)

    I hope he can pass on his love for making music, his dry sense of humor, and his curiosity, intelligence, generosity, and open-mindedness.

  7. ^WiseGuy^ Says:

    What qualities of your partner would you hope that your partner passes on to your child(ren)?

    Oy, I love this TT!!!

    I hope my kids get the following from DH (seriously)…

    # his pearly whites….they are perfectly shaped.

    # his body shape…..I think DH has great legs, and overall a better ‘shape’ than me.

    # his scruplousness….especially with regards to financial planning. I will not mind spending extra…he is more careful.

    # his arithmetic calculations. He has to add up everything, multiply everything and compare everything. Mentally!

    # his dedication; once he is onto something, he is totally onto it!!!


  8. Our son already looks a lot like his dad. I love it that they have the same perfect blue eyes. I hope he will also have his creative mind, intelligence, great ear for music, curiosity and his sense of humor.

  9. Rebecca Says:

    I’d like them to have his teeth and eyesight, but my skin. I’d like them to have his patience and calmness, and his passion. And both our senses of humour. I’d love for them to have his beautiful blue eyes and dark hair (Irish!).

  10. Heather Says:

    My daughter looks just like my husband, but acts like me. I do hope she gets his amazing ability to pick things up and learn them very quickly. It amazes me whenever I notice how he can do that. He can also cook without a recipe, which I could never do.

  11. Kristin Says:

    Physically, my kids are such an interesting combination of the two of us. As far as personality characteristics, I hope they have my husbands sense of honor, his loyalty, his wonderful sense of humor (even though that scares me too), and his incredible work ethic.

  12. Michele Says:

    Peter is so empathetic and kind. He’s extremely intelligent and loves to talk philosophy. He sees all sides in an instant and, although nonconformist, will change his POV if swayed by evidence. He also has the patience of a saint!

  13. jill Says:

    Easy one! Intelligence, Responsibility, and Fierce Loyalty

  14. Two Kayaks Says:

    I hope that they get K2’s integrity, strong work ethic, kindness and honesty. I wish that they would have his sense of patience, too but they are already showing signs of having my lack thereof. Can’t win ’em all!

  15. Shinejil Says:

    Definitely his teeth. He’s got the superior choppers by far.

    His musicality. He can play several instruments well, and is fast to pick up new ones.

    His wild imagination.

    His sensitivity and profound ability to love and cherish friends and family.

    His mad love of nature, the woods, plants, and good vegetables cooked right.

    His frugality and loathing of debt.

  16. Ana Says:

    Sweet post. I hope he gets my hubbies sense of humor, strong sense of integrity & justice, the never-ending energy, particularly for doing things for the people he loves, the loyalty to family & friends, the love of music & artistic ability. Oh and the height. Please god let him not take after me in that department!

  17. BB Says:

    Thanks for all the info & references on my blog. I will try to get hold of those books. I am planning on getting in touch with the local LLL as well (sometime soon). Also, thank you for answering my Q on Carrie’s blog as well!

    About your “Qualities” post, the first and foremost, I hope the kids get good health that comes from his side of the family… my side seems a little more screwed up!:P His patience, sense of humor, work ethics are some other things I would definitely like the kiddos to have.

  18. Photogrl Says:

    My daughter looks like my hubby…and so far, seems to have his immune system! They are never sick!

    I hope that she and the twins end up with his calmness and patience. His ability to talk to everyone and really listen.

    And getting some of his height would be good, too! 🙂

  19. Mel Says:

    I’ve literally never thought of this–I know that part of personality is formed by the people around you, but I’ve never given a lot of thought to the kids inheriting things from us.

    So I’ll say that I hope the kids have Josh’s passion, honesty, creativity, writing talent, tremendous heart, intelligence, kindness, and responsibility.

  20. Carrie Says:

    I love picturing your DH running up the stairs, twin toddlers in each arm, squealing. That is just around the corner! 🙂

    I hope my boys and my daughter inherit or learn their father’s gentleness, athleticism and adventurous spirit and his ability to explain how things work to anyone. (Last night he spent a good 15 minutes explaining the finer points of cloud computing and Internet Protocol on our way to dinner).

    I also hope they learn from his interactions with them how much he desired their presence in our lives… not just how much I wanted them, but how desperately their Daddy did, too.

    Happy LOOOOOVE Day!

  21. Cathi Says:

    I’m lucky that I got to see some of what he passed on last July when our babies were born. Our girls both got his dimples, which I’m *thrilled* about. I hope they all get his science and math smarts and his focus to finish a project before getting distracted by something else. I hope they get his great skin and athleticism. If they’re right-handed in everything except swinging a hockey stick, they’ll share that with their dad and his dad. I also hope at least one of them starts too look more like him, because everyone who sees them talks about how much they look like me and it would be nice to have others see him in them, too.

    Right now, I wish they had a bit more of his love of napping. 😉

  22. coffeegrl Says:

    Oh this is easy: I want my children to inherit my husband’s sense of loyalty to his family (and friends), his sense of adventure, his interest in learning about other cultures (esp. experiencing their foods!), his financial and business sense, and his appreciation for the little things in life (hand-made gifts for example rather than store-bought).


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