Post-Procrastination Report

August 29, 2008

Post-procrastination, and also post-RE visit report.

Today’s theme: If you think you know what will come next, you are forgetting the nature of infertility.

As I mentioned in my last post, I was a bit anxious about this RE visit, but still I thought that I knew what would likely happen. He would tell me what we learned with IVF #1, and what we’d be tweaking for IVF #2 to make our odds even better.

That is called hubris.

Do you know what the universe does with people who exhibit hubris? Smacks them in the face.

There were three key things that occurred at the visit, which I did not expect.

  1. He insisted that I try to figure out if I can get any insurance coverage for IVF. Now, I can barely get insurance coverage at all (or at least, insurance that will cover maternity if I can ever get pregnant), which is why I am about to start a new job with good benefits. I have looked exhaustively into every possible plan that is available to individuals in my state, and I know for a fact that not only is there no IF coverage for me, there is barely any coverage at all without getting a job that will include insurance, which I have now done. But Dr. Full Steam Ahead insisted that it’s easy to get fertility coverage. Basically he said that he was happy to take my money if I still wanted to pay out of pocket, but that since it might require a couple more tries at IVF, I should try to get coverage. He detailed the many ways in which coverage is so extensively available, and what a dullard I must be to have missed them for so long. Well, DH and I just spent several hours checking and calling every insurance company, and he is totally wrong and I was totally right. Unfortunately. I would love it if insurance would cover my IVF cycles, but it won’t. I have never been so annoyed to be right.
  2. He wants to add ICSI to the next IVF cycle. We have never had any male factor problems, and it didn’t seem that we had any fertilization problems with IVF #1, so ICSI never entered my mind. We had 50% of the mature eggs fertilize last time, but Dr. Full Steam Ahead wants to get that number higher. Did I mention that his name is Dr. Full Steam Ahead?
  3. He wants to do a hysteroscopy before the next cycle or during the birth control pill phase. In case there is any endometriosis from M/C #2, and just to really “get in there and look” at my uterus.

The insurance part was totally stressful. You’d think that it wouldn’t be stressful to potentially get tens of thousands of dollars covered, but just raising the possibility meant all sorts of phone calls and research when I knew it would turn up nothing. There are few things in life I hate more than figuring out health insurance, in large part because the situation is so bleak.

ICSI was a shock but actually no big deal once I thought about it. It costs more money ($2000), sure, but it requires no extra work/pain for me or DH. If it will increase the number of embryos, so that we have better embryos to transfer and/or some to freeze, it may save money in the long run, and save us one or more additional IVF cycles. I’m on board.

The hysteroscopy really freaks me out though. I am pretty okay with pain, and I have learned to accept all of the different painful aspects of the IVF cycle. But the idea of an additional invasive surgery, an additional couple of days out of commission, and the possibility it raises that he might find something wrong, all scares me shitless. By nature I am pretty calm and very matter-of-fact (even if some of my blog posts don’t give that impression — this blog is my place to be an emotional wreck, so that I can pull it together in real life), but this one is getting to me.

Oh, and remember when I said that it looked like I might have no Procrastination Tax for putting off my RE consultation? Yeah, well now because I need to wait for my new health insurance to kick in (since it should cover the hysteroscopy and maybe some parts of the IVF cycle like meds — fingers crossed) I may need to postpone the cycle a month. I had just updated my About Me page to say that IVF #2 would start in September. By adding that one line of text, I must have jinxed it.

As I have mentioned before: Man plans, G-d laughs.

To reiterate today’s lesson: If you think you know what will come next, you are forgetting the nature of infertility.