Thoughtful Thursday: Loud

April 25, 2013

Thoughtful ThursdayContinuing where we left off with the questions I ask Burrito and Tamale to gauge other kids’ personalities…

Another question that’s particularly relevant to 3-year-olds is whether the person is quiet or loud.

Burrito has sensitive hearing, so even though he himself is rather loud, he shies away from loud kids. “Exciting” is appealing to him, but loud is not.

Little kids can be very loud indeed, so my general preference for Burrito and Tamale’s playmates is for kids who are not-too-loud. But, oddly, I have chosen a husband and a best friend who are both tremendously loud. Conspicuously loud. Whole-restaurant-turning-to-stare loud.

Equally oddly, my husband and friend have chosen me. I speak at a normal volume, and I can get a little loud and animated when I’m really engaged in discussion, but my base state is to be extremely quiet. I walk into rooms so softly that I am effectively sneaking in, and I often startle people. It comes in handy when there are sleeping children and I need to pass by their rooms without waking anyone. It comes in less handy when every shopkeeper in the world doesn’t realize that I’ve entered the store, unless there is a little bell on the door. That only happens when I’m alone, though — if I’m with my husband or best friend or kids, you can hear us coming from a mile away.

Do you prefer people who are quiet or loud? Are you quiet or loud?

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14 Responses to “Thoughtful Thursday: Loud”

  1. Mina Says:

    I have this condition, I do not know if it has a name, but I went to an ENT doctor because everyone told me I did not hear properly. I actually do, but further tests, also neurological ones, proved that my brain automatically goes in protect mode when the noises are too loud around me and I cannot make out what people are saying around me. My brain mutes the world if it is too loud. Which results in my not hearing what they say, and many of those times, I also do not care, but hide behind the ‘doctor told I have this condition I cannot help’ to give a flying monkey’s on what is going on.
    I think I am normal to loud otherwise, when I am rushed (which is always), you hear me alright, whether I speak or move.

    That said, I hate people who speak too quietly – I realise TOO QUIETLY is a matter of personal standards, so by that I mean people who speak loud enough for me hear they say something, but too quietly for me to make out what they are saying. I have this constant odd feeling that this is a maneuvre to make me say ‘Beg your pardon’ ten times more than necessary, and it detracts what I want to say, so that only their words matter in the end, and I already am too nice and let people talk too much before I get to say my opinion (hard to believe this one, but it is true), so having this mechanical sort of issue on top of it, well, it can get very annoying. And definitely not constructive. If you want to have a proper discussion, speak up, for crying out loud (well, sort of)!

  2. a Says:

    I come from a very loud family. My husband’s family is not especially loud, but it is large, so there’s a bit of a dull roar there. Our house is pretty quiet. My daughter is moderately loud, and she talks non-stop. So, in our house, you can frequently hear “Will you please stop talking for five minutes? Stop talking! Stop talking and eat your food!” I can be fairly loud, but I don’t really talk that much, so I would categorize myself as quiet. My husband would categorize me as loud because when I get worked up (often) I get louder. He would categorize himself as quiet, but he’s frequently loud – he stomps when he walks and talks with no regard to what anyone is doing.

    In summary, we’re a mix, I guess.

  3. Ernessa Says:

    Oh my gosh, I’m loud. My English teacher actually talked with me about it before going off to college, like “you need to work on that.”

    For me, it’s a cultural thing. One side of my family is very loud and boisterous.

    My husband is not loud or quiet though. He’s kind of just in the middle. I tend to like mildly animated over any other personality type–thoigh my bestie is also loud. But if I had to choose between two extremes, I’d probably hang out with a quiet person, since I
    grew up with a very quiet sister.

  4. strongblonde Says:

    I would like to think i’m “regular” or “normal” volumed. I come from a LOUD family. My dad worked in a factory and ALWAYS had the TV on…and it was always BLASTING. When I went away to college I realized how loud I was and made an effort to turn it down a notch. Now I can be loud when I’m angry or excited, but most of the time I think I’m just kind of normal. I find it really difficult to be around people when I have to strain to hear them. Likewise, I get a visceral response to people who are too loud. In fact, one of my sisters is so loud it literally hurts my ears to be around her!! Looking at my kids: M tends to be on the louder side when she is excited, but overall I think that they are pretty typical for 3 year olds. My husband, B, tends to speak too quietly sometimes. Or he waits until I have my head in the dryer removing clothes or something to start to mumble something important at a low volume. it drives me CRAZY. 🙂

  5. Elana Kahn Says:

    Sometimes I can be pretty loud, even though I don’t mean to be. But I GREATLY prefer others who are quiet. It makes me uncomfortable when people are loud around me. I know, I’m such a hypocrite. lol But especially with my kids, I can’t stand it when they’re loud!!!! Sometimes I think they do it just to bug me. haha


  6. I prefer to be around people who are quiet or have a normal noise level. I get very annoyed when on a train or in a café and there are people close to me having a loud conversation that you cannot ignore and interferes with what I’m doing or would like to be doing.
    I think I have a pretty normal level myself but my husband often tells me I’m too loud (esp. when I’m excited/nervous/rushed/frustrated), but he is extremely sensitive to loud people and he’s the only one who’s ever called me loud. The sitter is very loud – we first thought she had a deaf relative but I guess it’s more her cultural background… When our preschooler is together with his best friend, they are horribly loud. Add a few of their classmates at the playground and they’ll start a screaming contest (and be hoarse the next day).

  7. Cat Says:

    I’m a mixture, as are my friends. My husband is quiet and my best friend is ridiculously loud. My husband is quite put off by my BF, in fact. My children, being three years old, are very loud. We are working on using inside voices, but I think I’m the only one who understands the concept. My ears are starting to hurt and I’m positive I’ve lost some of my hearing in the last couple years.

  8. St. Elsewhere Says:

    I get loud only when excited or agitated. Otherwise, I am normal volume. I can go quiet too.

    I prefer a mixture. I like to be with people who monitor themselves, in their pitch according to the place and situation. My SIL is consistently loud. She will shout even if all she wants to ask you is an invite for a meal. That kind of thing is no good for me.

  9. Sara Says:

    I’m quiet, Joel is quiet, and I like quiet people. However, we do get louder (though still not “loud”) when we’re talking about things that excite us!

    Gwen, on the other hand, isn’t exactly loud but she is continuous. She’s toned down the happy shrieks she had around 7-8 months, but when we’re out running errands, or biking to and from day care, the noise she emits is just constant. Sometimes it’s babble, sometimes it’s a whine, sometimes it’s just a drone to make noise. I find that rather wearing.

  10. Jules Says:

    I can be loud at times, but try to limit my volume as much as possible. I also prefer the quiet.

    My twins are loud separately, but together, they can be deafening. My ex is also very loud, so I suppose that’s where the boys get it from.


  11. Laughing about Stealth BabySmiling.

    I think I’m Medium. And I like Medium. If pressed, though, I do prefer quiet to loud.

  12. loribeth Says:

    Quiet, please. 🙂 As someone said above, i hate being on the train & people are talking loudly (on the phone or with each other) or listening to headphones that are on so loud they might as well not have bothered with the headphones. :p

    Dh’s family are all quite loud, and they get louder when they’re all together. It’s something I’ve had to get used to over the years!

  13. loribeth Says:

    On the flip side, dh & I used to sometimes sit on the train with two women we used to call “The Silent Sisters.” I don’t know if they actually were sisters (although they did look a bit alike), but they would sit beside or across from each other (in a four-seat pod with us) & talk to each other & their voices were so soft, we could barely hear a word they said. Amazing!

  14. Ana Says:

    I am quiet. I like quiet. I suppose I can get loud when I’m excited, but perpetually loud people kind of irritate me, especially if they are conversing while I’m trying to work or think. I don’t at all mind little kids being loud, because that’s just the way little kids are, but adults should be able to control themselves 🙂
    I’ve been told I stomp around & also that I “chew loudly”, and I honestly don’t know what to say to that, or to do about it. I’m convinced G has hearing damage and he puts the TV/music/etc… on SO LOUD that my ears literally hurt. He thinks I’m exaggerating, but I have really sensitive hearing.


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