Audit, Part 6

April 17, 2011

With my magnificent spreadsheets and several enormous folders of receipts that I didn’t have time to organize, on two hours of sleep, DH and I went to meet with the auditor.

We were on time, but after going through the metal detector and wandering all around the federal building (apparently someone should tell those security guards that “the IRS is on the 3rd floor” doesn’t apply to the audit department), we were 15 minutes late.

I was pleasantly surprised to find that our auditor was not the humorless bureaucrat that television had taught me she would be. She was a regular person. The first thing she said was that she understood what a difficult situation it was to be in, but that we didn’t need to freak out. Very human.

Although by nature I’m rather taciturn, when I am sleep-deprived I develop logorrhoea. I proceeded by blathering about how I understood why their red flags would have gone off but it’s all very explainable and here I have everything but I didn’t have time to sort it and I was up all night and we have twins and our nanny has been really unreliable and…

Auditor: “You’ll need to take all of that documentation home and put it in order. I don’t have time to go through thousands of receipts.”

I said, “Of course.”
I thought, “Neither do I! At least you’re getting paid for this! But ugh, fine.”

The auditor then said, “Wow, your spreadsheets are fantastic!”

Awwww yeah. I am the queen of the dorks.

Tomorrow, the auditor’s reaction to our medical bills.

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5 Responses to “Audit, Part 6”

  1. a Says:

    Well, there was your mistake – never tell them you didn’t have time to sort! Tell them it’s all sorted and let them make sense of it.

    Obviously your auditor had the good sense to recognize a fabulous spreadsheet when she saw it!

  2. Kristin Says:

    Glad you weren’t stuck with a humorless bureaucrat.

  3. St. Elsewhere Says:

    Reading through your audit fairy tale.

    I am glad she was receptive. Arranging the bills? Not so fun.

  4. Ana Says:

    I’m glad you had a “real human” to deal with…but I must say your whole saga is making me very nervous for some reason. You should take that as a compliment to your suspenseful storytelling skills…I’m waiting anxiously for the outcome 🙂

  5. Cat Says:

    If you’re the queen, can I be your Supreme High Priestess? Whenever DH wants a new computer and asks what features I want, my requirements are always and only MS Outlook and MS Excel. MS Word is nice, but what I really want is Excel.


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