Curiouser and Curiouser

September 25, 2010

Or rather, weirder and weirder. This is the weirdest month I’ve ever had… and to think, a year ago, I was pleasantly bored in the hospital.

After the health scare with my mom necessitated cross-country travel, she improved and we went home. We were at home for a couple of days, starting to return to normal, then a relative on DH’s side of the family died. So we immediately had to repack our bags (some clean clothes had never been put away and just stayed in the luggage; the dirty clothes were literally in the dryer when we got the call, so I actually had to wait for them to dry), get out our passports (the twins have passports too… and it is the cutest thing!), and head out within a couple of hours for some international travel. Packed days of funeral/shiva/family obligations and chasing a crawling Tamale and walking Burrito all around the different houses, none of which are remotely baby-safe and all of which seem to have stairs in every room. So many people falling apart around me in response to the death (most emotionally, but some both emotionally and physically), while I am a little sad but mainly detached about this death but entirely preoccupied with my own family issues.

Meanwhile my laptop would not work with the router in the house where we were staying (or when it did work, it somehow monopolized the signal and prevented everyone else from using their computers). This meant that not only could I not post Thoughtful Thursday again this week, I could only check my email from my phone. At least I could do that, because yesterday I got a “Help!” email from one of my mother’s health care providers. And I was at a loss. For words, for ideas, for energy, for everything.

DH and I then went to bed early because we were both exhausted, but instead of going to sleep we started talking about my conundrum. A couple of hours later we had decided to sell our house and move across the country to my mother’s city (a city where, by the way, I did not grow up and have never lived, but which is pretty great).

Crazy. This is all just crazy. We decided last night, then today I kept saying things like, “Wait, are we actually going?” “Was that whole conversation a dream?” But apparently we are actually going. I put out feelers for a new job this morning, and we scheduled a meeting with the realtor for later this week. We’ll put the house on the market ASAP, and as soon as it sells, we’ll go.

I am someone who has relocated many times for career reasons, never caring about proximity to family. I did not think that I was the kind of person who would rearrange my life to care for a family member. Apparently I am… who knew?

We are now in the midst of our travels home (what we consider home for now, anyway), and I thought I should steal a little sleep time to check my blog email. The several “checking in, are you okay?” emails compelled me to post, since if some people are emailing, probably more are wondering. I am okay, but not everyone in my life is. My little raft has hit some rapids, and I’m trying to stay afloat.


8 Responses to “Curiouser and Curiouser”

  1. WiseGuy Says:

    OMG ….that’s a tectonic shift really! I remember you posting quite to the contrary of ‘would you travel to …’.

    I hope and pray that you get a good price for your house, and a great job in the other city…and that Burrito and Tamale get wonderful experiences of being close to their grandparents.

    Sending thoughts of eternal peace to the deceased.

    And praying for life to settle down a bit for you.


  2. a Says:

    Wow. That’s quite a bit of life change for a short amount of time.

    I hope you’ll be settled in your new location with minimal hassle quickly. I hope your job search is quick and easy, as is your house sale.

    Much luck, and I’m sorry for your loss.

  3. Two Kayaks Says:

    Isn’t that how all big decisions are made? I mean, talking through the night in bed? I know ours are.
    Best of luck in your new venture. If there’s one thing I’ve learned over the years it’s that home is where your loved ones are. You will make everything work wonderfully.

  4. Cat Says:

    I’m glad you’re OK, but sorry not everyone else in your family is. You’re quite amazing to uproot yourselves like this for your mother! I hope the move goes smoothly and you and DH find great jobs quickly.

  5. What a lot you’re dealing with!

    If I’ve got whiplash from the change, I can only imagine what it’s like for you.

    I, too, hope things go very smoothly for you.

  6. BB Says:

    Wow… you have a lot happening.

    So sorry to hear about the loss!

    Life sometime throws surprises at you and we do the most unexpected things! I hope your move/transition goes as smooth as it possibly can be. Good luck with the house!

  7. Dora Says:

    Wow! That’s a hell of a lot. You are a total master at catching curve balls. Hoping you’ll find a terrific (mom-friendly) job out there.

  8. luna Says:

    wow, that is a big move.
    closer to my coast, maybe?

    wishing you all well as you navigate this transition.

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