Thoughtful Thursday: Stand-Up

June 9, 2010

Thoughtful ThursdayContinuing where we left off last week

I just came very close to getting on a plane to help my mother, then was able to avert the crisis.

When I thought I was going to get on a plane the next day, I needed to find a way for Burrito and Tamale to be taken care of, because bringing them cross-country alone was not feasible. The babysitter will be unavailable the most of the days I would have been gone, and DH was supposed to go out of town again.

Without a second thought, I called his stepmother to see if I could fly her here.

Her response? “Hmm let me think what I have lined up, you know what, never mind, I’ll be there. Anything you need.”

I turned out not to need her help, but I am so grateful that I could depend on her. Willing and able to care for the twins, and eager to help me do anything I needed for my mother’s situation including hop on a plane with less than a day’s notice. Even after I told her that she didn’t need to come, she emailed me several times to say that if anything changes she’s ready to come anytime I call, that her bags are packed. She is completely stand-up.

Her husband, DH’s dad, would also have come if we’d asked. He is also entirely stand-up.

Other than that? No one else who could both be trusted to handle both of the babies and who would drop everything to come. No one else that we could truly rely on to pause their own lives, take care of two infants adequately, and do it all without holding anything over our heads later.

There are some other relatives and friends that I could lean on for other types of emergencies, but this incident really cemented the hierarchy of who we can call in the middle of the night.

How many people in your life are stand-up? How do you know for sure that you can count on them?


20 Responses to “Thoughtful Thursday: Stand-Up”

  1. samcy Says:


    Well we don’t have kids to draw on the same analogy as you have BUT that being said I know that without a shadow of a doubt that my Mom and my sister would drop heaven and earth to help me if I needed them to. Also my MIL. I don’t really think I have many friends who I could count on (mostly cos they all have kids and can’t just drop everything to be there) and feel that it’s family that one counts on most in cases like this.

    Blood is thicker than water after all.


  2. samcy Says:

    hey! I’m number on commenter – that never happens πŸ™‚

  3. loribeth Says:

    When I made the hardest telephone call of my life, to tell my mother that my baby girl was dead, she called me back a few hours later to say she was coming. I didn’t ask her to come, she just announced she was coming. My FIL picked her up at the airport & dropped her off at the hospital, where I was already in labour, & I delivered my daughter about four hours later. She stayed for about three weeks, helping us organize the funeral, cooking for dh & me, making sure I got out of the house for a little while every day. I am ever so grateful to her for that, & to the local travel agent who moved hell & high water to get her there in time.

  4. Rebecca Says:

    Not a lot. Three, maybe. My mum, his mum, my friend Sam.

  5. a Says:

    My family is all stand-up. My husband’s family – totally unreliable. My family is a bunch of independent people who live their own lives, but if you need them, they’ll be right there. My husband’s family is one of those close-knit, insular groups, but weigh the cost to themselves first before considering whether they’ll help. I’m hoping that I can teach my daughter to be a stand-up person.

    I also have a few friends who would help me if I needed it. I think it’s because they know that I wouldn’t ask if the need wasn’t great. I wonder if whether you are involved with people who are always needing help has any bearing on how willing you are to give it.

  6. WiseGuy Says:

    My parents, without one iota of doubt!!! My mother is more devoted, and she would unconditionally arrive…my father is like me, and he would arrive but within his comfort zone…(but he would)

    I recently asked a cousin for some help (to take me to an appointment)…he had no idea where I expected him to take me. I told him that it was our secret mission, and that he should bring the family car. He actually agreed to be there! Wow…I did not need him ultimately, but still!

  7. WiseGuy Says:

    I have never really had to test out a lot of people, so I can’t comment on everybody I know…and my closest friends are actually far away from me geographically…

  8. WiseGuy Says:

    I am with a in terms of contents of her first para….

  9. michelehaytko Says:

    I’m really blessed. I know that I could count on my in-laws, my mom and stepdad, and my bff. My dad only doesnt make the list because of illness. But these folks have always been there for us, no matter what happened.

  10. Ana Says:

    Absolutely my parents and my mother-in-law. Anytime, for anything, they will hop a plane and be here. Our closest friends are also far away. And friends are awesome but have families of their own that do, and should, prioritize.

  11. Kristin Says:

    My parents, sisters, and my friends Jennifer, Christa, and Pam are all completely stand up. At one time or another, they have all dropped things to be there when they were needed.

  12. I am super blessed in this way. My mom and dad are ALWAYS there, emotionally, physically, capably.

    Also, I have a sister in town. She and her husband have been there when I needed them. Gino came over on his day off once when my son was an infant and I was going through PAD (post adoption depression). He rescued me.

    I’ve written about how my sister is like your husband’s stepmom in that she commits to me and then figures out how to rearrange her life. Unlike me, who has to figure it out before committing.

    I love your Thoughtful Thursdays. πŸ™‚

  13. jill Says:

    Wow I really have no idea because emergency situations like this have never come up before. My MIL would totally be at our doorstep in minutes if we said we needed her but she is a huge hold-it-over-your-head-later type and she just generally makes me uneasy. I don’t think I’d trust her to babysit children for more than an hour or two.

    My mom and my sisters are definitely trust worthy but I have no idea if they’d be willing to drop everything if I needed help. I’d like to think they would.

  14. strongblonde Says:

    this is easy. my sister. she lives a mile away and has completely re-arranged her schedule so she is with me a day a week. when the babies were little she came over as much as she could when B had to start teaching again. she’s young, single, working….but she loves my kids and would really do anything to help them or us…and has. she still says that she feels overwhelmed at times, but she does such a great job! a real stand up kind of person! πŸ˜‰

  15. Elana Kahn Says:

    My mom, my sister & brother-in-law, my mother-in-law, and of course my hubby! They would all drop everything to help me, and they did when I had the twins. I’m sure when this baby comes that they’ll all come to help again! Everyone in my family is trustworthy.

  16. Photogrl Says:

    My mother was a stand up person.

    Thank goodness that her little sister is a lot like her, since she’s no longer with us.

    My Aunt would do whatever I needed, whenever. Her daughter, my BFF, would also do the same.

    DH’s family will help, but at a price…not worth the hassle.

  17. Mel Says:

    A lot more people now that the twins are older, but when they were younger, beyond ourselves, there were 5 people. Though I feel badly naming them for the people not on the list.

  18. I think it depends on the situation. My parents can often come (and certainly would in a crisis). They also would give us money if we needed it. (which we have, on occasion.) My in-laws would come up with moments notice (they live an hour away). My sister would come if I asked her to (and sometimes when I don’t even ask, but want to). We can count on several good friends for a variety of assistance (from feeding us to taking care of the kids).

    My husband and I are really lucky.

  19. Heather Says:

    We can rely on my husband’s family! They are the best ever! It is my SIL who lives with us right now and watches the babies at our house. She is awesome. We’re taking them all to my parents-in-law’s this weekend as Phoebe will be out of school and her, the babies and Niki will be there for two weeks. I’ll miss them, but it is so good for them!

  20. coffeegrl Says:

    I am really lucky. Beyond my Mom and Dad who would do anything like this for me, I know that my sister would do the same. And even better, we have some friends right here in town who would (and have in the past done so) drop everything to help us out. I suspect that there are some other friends of ours that haven’t been put to the test but would do the same. I am SO lucky.

Please leave a reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: