Thoughtful Thursday: Not

March 4, 2010

Thoughtful ThursdayRawwwr! March comes in like a lion and out like a lamb. Baaaaa. Welcome to March’s Intelligentsia, the people who commented on every Thoughtful Thursday post for the month of February.

Record-setting #14: Wiseguy from Woman Anyone?
#10: Ernessa from Fierce and Nerdy and 32 Candles
#10: Kristen from Dragondreamer’s Lair
#10: Photogrl from Not the Path I Chose
#9: Jill from All Aboard the Pity Boat
#8: Lost In Translation from We Say IVF, They Say FIV
#5: Elana from Elana’s Musings
#5: Mel, a.k.a. Lollipop Goldstein, from Stirrup Queens
#4: A from Are You Kidding Me?
#4: Lori, a.k.a. Lavender Luz, from Weebles Wobblog
#3: Ana

Thoughtful ThursdayThis is the last in the series of Thoughtful Thursdays about what we hope our (future) children will inherit. First we talked about our partners’ great qualities, then those of our relatives and our partners’ relatives, then our own.

Today, we’ll think about what we don’t want our children to inherit.

What do you hope your children don’t inherit from you, your partner, or their relatives?

I could come up with 100 things, especially from certain relatives, but I’ll stick to the biggies.

Even though DH and I are remarkably non-anxious adults, we were both very anxious kids. I hope that Burrito and Tamale can be spared the nail-biting, the teeth-grinding, and the worries.

DH’s father and one of DH’s siblings are horrible know-it-alls, and DH and I both battle those tendencies. It’s obnoxious. I would prefer for the children to know everything secretly but not be smug about it, and even more I hope that they will admit when they don’t know something.

With DH’s mother, it is always all about her. I would like my children to be sensitive to other people’s needs and responsive to their cues.

Most of the men in my family, and some of the women, have heart disease. Hopefully the healthy vegetarian diet will spare the next generation’s tickers.

My father gets carried away with big ideas that get started and never finished. I’d like to see my children follow through.

Logic and impulse control aren’t my mother’s strong suits, but they’re traits I’ll work hard to foster in Burrito and Tamale.

Finally, I don’t know how far back in the family tree this damn infertility goes, but I sure hope it stops with me.

What do you hope your children don’t inherit from you, your partner, or their relatives?

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20 Responses to “Thoughtful Thursday: Not”

  1. strongblonde Says:

    hmmm…this didn’t come up in my reader for some reason. i was going to pop over and tell you that you forgot your thoughtful thursday post. lol.

    i could write a dissertation on what characteristics/qualities/etc i don’t want our kids to get. 😦 it would just take way too long!

    given my profession the easy things are the physical manifestations or the chronic diseases: parkinson’s disease (my mom), cancers (my side), heart disease (my side)…..heck. let’s just include b’s mom’s craziness here, too 🙂 lol

  2. Elana Kahn Says:

    I hope they don’t inherit the cancer, the Alzheimers, the depression/anxiety or the infertility…

  3. a Says:

    Various diseases, of course, but statistics say she’s going to get at least one of them.

    I hope my girl doesn’t get my lack of drive. (Or if she does, I hope she doesn’t get her father’s tendency to be discontent).

    I don’t want her to be shallow like my SILs or self-absorbed like my mom. I want her to think of the feelings of others, unlike my husband and his father.

    I don’t want her to get my height or body type either (and I’m calling my SILs shallow!). I don’t want her to get my in-law’s anxiety issues either.

    Relatively short list, for me!

  4. Lavender Luz Says:

    I fear the know-it-all gene runs through mine and DH’s blood, as well. Maybe it causes IF? Haha.

    From me: perfectionism, self-centeredness

    From DH: cynicism

    A certain aunt: inertia

    Here’s to the end of the line for IF.

  5. Cathi Says:

    Ha! This one is so much easier to answer!

    I’m always checking the babies’ hands and feet trying to discern through the chubbiness whether they’re from DH or me. The feet concern me less, but DH’s hands would not be becoming on our daughters. Think of the “man hands” episode of Seinfeld.

    I hope our babies do not inherit any of the craziness from my whackjob mother. I hope they don’t excel at procrastinating like my dad. I hope they don’t become conspiracy theorists like DH’s grandpa and uncle. I hope they are not pessimists and worriers like my MIL’s family.

    Most of all, I hope they don’t inherit heart disease or diabetes which are both present, though not dominant, on both sides of our family.

  6. Wishing4One Says:

    My dad sounds like yours. He has the most amazing ideas, but they never pan out, or a follow through starts and then stops. My babies, I hope, will have an idea and execute it. Also misc. ailments that run in our family and of course being spared infertility in any shape or form.

  7. Jules Says:

    I hope my boys don’t inherit my temper.

    I also hope they don’t have to deal with infertility in anyway.

  8. Rebecca Says:

    The depression, the skin problems, the suicidal tendencies.

  9. jill Says:

    I would hope my future children don’t “inherit” (all of these things aren’t necessarily genetic) the depression, Alzheimers, diabetes, heart disease, alcoholism, tendency to be smokers, anger and grudge-holding, low self esteem, and procrastination.

    I think I could have kept going! haha

  10. Photogrl Says:

    There is plenty I don’t want my children to inherit.

    From me: My body type, my procrastination tendencies.

    From M.: His ability to be oblivious to what’s going around him, at all times!

    From my sister: Her need for drama.

    From the in-laws: Their feeling of how important money is.

    And of course, I don’t want them to inherit my grandfather and father’s alcoholism, my mother’s cancer, or my grandfather’s heart disease.

  11. ^WiseGuy^ Says:

    What do you hope your children don’t inherit from you, your partner, or their relatives?

    Ha Ha Ha….I was laughing as I read this question…coz I was expecting it to be around the corner.

    Don’t take this kids:

    From me – procrastination, my body type, my temper.

    From DH: sensitivity to money to the acute, the tendency to confuse between “eat to live or live to eat”.

    From his side of the family: certain diseases, money-hoarding, doing things because it is a social norm rather than dictated by love, constant fault-finding.

    From my side of the family: diseases certainly, depression, trusting people too easily.


  12. I hope my children don’t inherit the cancer and heart disease that took away my inlaws, or my (and my parents’) anxiety, DH’s temper, my sister’s tendency to overanalyze things, and from DH’s side of the family the distrust and not sharing your emotions.

  13. Kristin Says:

    From me – procrastination, avoidance of things when I don’t think I’ll be perfect at it, over-committing

    From dh – diabetes

  14. staciet Says:

    I really struggled with the other questions, but sadly, lots of stuff popped into my mind when I saw this topic. Oh boy, I could probably go on for-ev-er! I’ll try to limit myself. Let’s see…

    From me: 1) I wish my boys will have more confidence in themselves than I have in myself. While I know that I am capable or whatever, there is always a little something that makes me struggle to actually DO new things. (can’t really decide when this trait developed either)
    2) I hope that the boys do not have my pickiness when it comes to food.

    From my husband: 1) Please let them not have the same lack of follow through he has. Please, please, please. I may go crazy if it’s there. I suppose that almost guarantees that they will, right? Sigh.
    2) I had hoped that they would stay clear of my husband’s flair for the dramatic, but darn if it looks like they are following in their father’s footsteps on that one.

  15. Michele Says:

    From P, procrastination!!! I love him but this drives me nuts!!! And from me, my “Irish temper”, although, sadly, 6 month old Maya is already showing tendencies!!!


  16. […] in Philosophical Monday on Mar.08, 2010 Over at BabySmiling in Back Seat, they’re talking about things you don’t want your baby to inherit from you. The list is […]

  17. Mel Says:

    Oh, I’m right there with you with the anxiety. I don’t want them to worry as much as I do. I don’t want them to let their fears rule their life as I do with crickets (I know I joke about it, but it seriously does rule my life at times). I hope they don’t development my picky eater tendencies.

  18. Shinejil Says:

    The addictions, the mental illness…and the messed up teeth. 🙂


  19. Just linking to my post about Betty not becoming a night owl, since your post inspired it! http://fierceandnerdy.com/?p=14119

  20. Ana Says:

    Really late on this…was visiting the mother-in-law for 2 weeks…slow & unreliable internet connection (yikes!)

    From both of us:
    Worrying.
    Shyness & lack of self confidence.
    Intense desire to please others, often at our own expense.

    From DH:
    inability to follow through on ambitious plans.
    inability to concentrate on certain things (undiagnosed ADHD?)
    rigidness in small things at times (things HAVE to be done his way!)

    from me:
    impatience
    tendency to take shortcuts & miss the details
    bad temper

    from my MIL:
    crazy beliefs (mostly religous, but other superstituous things), that have her doing all kinds of rituals & behaviors without question
    selfishness

    from my parents:
    cheapness

    very thoughtful question!


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