Things That Are Wrong Right Now

September 4, 2008

…in order of proximity.

  1. I feel empty and frantic inside.
  2. Continuous headache and neck pain for the past 4 days.
  3. Huge amount of work in front of me, brain not functional enough to get it done.
  4. Even if I can muster mental strength, repetitive stress injury to wrist makes work difficult.
  5. Boss just interrupted my brain-intensive work with an incredibly piddly detail that he finds very important, and I have to stop everything I am doing to work on that because no one else is competent enough to trust with this very basic clerical task.
  6. Construction down the hall, drilling, drilling into my brain.
  7. Out of town visiting family have drained my time and my energy, both already in short supply.
  8. Huge amount of work not directly in front of me but deadlines loom large.
  9. IVF cycle being postponed for a month to deal with health insurance.
  10. Scared about upcoming hysteroscopy.
  11. Generally freaked out about infertility, getting left behind while everyone else I know has lots of babies.
  12. Added TTC time pressure due to sister-in-law’s wedding and child-rearing plans.
  13. Miserable state of health insurance in this country.
  14. Civil liberties of journalists and protesters being trampled at RNC.
  15. Many more civil liberties to be trampled in the future if the GOP has its way, including but not limited to reproductive freedoms, which have become ever more salient since I started engaging in medical interventions that some people find objectionable.
  16. Despite all of the truly good things in my life, I feel like I am being fucked over by the fates.
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4 Responses to “Things That Are Wrong Right Now”

  1. Danielle Says:

    Awww sweetie *HUG* I don’t have any fanstical pearls of wisdom for ya. I will say this though…Be good to yourself. Let yourself feel these emotions, go for a walk, or take a bath or get a manicure. Something just for YOU. it’s important and it helps. I didn’t believe it until one day I was so fed up and frustrated that I locked myself in the bathroom, took a HOT bath and totally spoiled myself. IT. FELT. SO. GOOD!!! I’m thinking about ya and sending you vibes of peace.
    -D

  2. Dora Says:

    I could write a hell of an essay responding to your list, but I’m having a VERY crappy day, so I’ll keep it short.

    Re 13, 14 & 15, November will be here before you know it, and no matter what’s going on, we must all go out and VOTE! Let’s pray for a landslide! For our future children. Pg and on bedrest is the only acceptable excuse!

    I had a hysteroscopy in February to remove an endometrial polyp. I hadn’t had surgery since I had eye surgery at 18 months old (which of course I don’t remember). I was so nervous. It really wasn’t so bad, and the anesthesia is kind of relaxing considering all the stress we deal with. Also, since yours will probably be just a good look in there, as opposed to my polyp removal (he did a d&c, too), you’ll probably have very little pain afterwards. And even with all the scraping I had in there, the pain wasn’t so bad. I was a little sore, but basically fine the next day. Just don’t be shy about asking for REAL pain meds. I like fentanyl. 😉

    Hang in there!

  3. Allie Says:

    I wasn really nervous about the hysteroscopy too and it was no big deal. Compared to a D&C there was literally no pain afterward (I had a polyp removed). Besides it will be good to have a perfect uterus for IVF #2!

  4. Shinejil Says:

    I hear you on the fate fucking me over front!

    I want to share my hysteroscopy experience with you, in hopes that it will take the edge off your fears. It isn’t all that invasive (unlike a lap, say), as it involves no incisions. I had both at once, and it took me a couple days to be back at 100%, but the pain and discomfort were not that bad and passed in about a day or so. Most of the pain was from the lap, and the discomfort was from the anesthesia and the painkillers, which always make me feel like I’ve been run over by a monster truck. You’ll likely have some cramping, but they’ll give you meds for that. Basically, with a few days to rest and some TLC, you’ll be back in the saddle, hopefully with some helpful info.

    What we call health insurance in this country is such a cash-cow joke, with the fat cats laughing all the way to the bank. I can’t get shit covered for IF treatment, and couldn’t even get my insurance to cover the drugs used to treat my current ectopic. Very funny, guys.

    Anyway, wishing you an easier time of things and some comfort and peace, as well as some good luck and kindness from those fates.


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