December 31, 2011
Let’s sum up each month of 2011 with a single word, plus the corresponding post.
Why no link for December? Because I’m telling you about it right now.
Fittingly, December’s events bring me full circle to the encounter with Lori that started the year. In January, her family came to my region of the country. In December, I visited her house as part of a reconnaissance trip, because… this coming January, I will become her neighbor.
I got a job! A better job than any of the four for which I’ve been the runner-up in the past year and a half! We are moving to Loriland!
I am temporarily in transition, but I am finally out of Limbo.
Uhhhh… anybody want to buy a really cool house? I’ll throw in some pottery!
Happy New Year!
December 23, 2011
In the past, with these types of lists, address books, or birthday calendars, I would delete people who had become obsolete — either because they’d moved out of our lives, or because they died.
This year, I instead hid those lines on the spreadsheet. I did this for a couple of reasons: first, there are a couple of people whom DH has had me remove from the list at some point only to request that they be added in a subsequent year; hiding allows me to restore their address rather than having to contact them. Second, it’s hard to know what to do with people who have died. I remember reading a blog post from Mel several years saying that when people die, she leaves them in her address book untouched. At that point in life, her approach was very different from mine: I made a dramatic point of deleting them, a symbolic goodbye. But, I don’t think deleting works for me anymore, nor do I want to look at a potentially painful entry without warning. Hence, hiding the row.
Past deletion has come back to bite me: for example, a relative died last year, and I deleted his birthday from my list. Now, I couldn’t tell you his exact birthday. I know the month, but not the date. And so, when his daughter was suddenly sad on that day, I had no idea why, and I didn’t treat her as gently as I would have until someone else filled me in. Even if the deceased person can’t celebrate anymore, others might want to honor them — or mourn them — on that day, and it’s handy to have some kind of reminder.
There are some entries that I won’t forget, whether or not they appear on a list. I will never forget my mother’s birthday, for example, nor her address, nor the fact that she used to be at the top of my list and she isn’t there any more.
What do you do with obsolete entries in your address book, birthday calendar, etc.?
December 15, 2011
Some of you have seen recent news stories about a woman who recently died from childbirth complications. I was particularly interested not only because of the many parallels to my experiences — infertile for 7 years, boy-girl twins from IF treatments, planned c-section because one baby was breech, severe hemorrhaging after delivery — but also because I actually am separated from her by only one degree, through a common friend.
When our friend passed along the horrible news, I scoured the website and the news articles, curious about the extent of the parallels between our lives and wanting to know more about this truly special person. And yes, some degree of lookie-loo motivation too, there but for the grace of G-d go I.
When I told DH about her and the parallels, his reaction was to refuse to listen to another word about her, horrified at the parallels, there but for the grace…
DH can stop me from talking to him about this family, but he cannot stop me from donating to help a bereaved husband and overwhelmed father of newborn twins take care of those beautiful babies.
When you see someone just like you befall a terrible fate, do you want to know more or shut your eyes and pretend it never happened?
December 1, 2011
#26: Elana from Elana’s Musings
#18: Strongblonde from Strong Blonde
#15: Ernessa from Fierce and Nerdy
#10: Tara from Turkey In My Oven
#8: St. Elsewhere
#7: Lori Lavender Luz from Write Mind Open Heart
and new member Sara!
I just spent several hundred dollars on new bras. I’ve had the same bra size all of my adult life (38F), but I was near a top-notch bra store and thought I’d get fitted. I don’t know if it’s because of pregnancy and nursing or because my past fittings have been good but not great, but the size at which they measured me was pretty different: 34G-H.
Unlike most shops, which have slim pickings in my size, this shop had piles. Once the clerk had fitted me, she literally brought in everything in my size, and then I worked my way through about 30 bras.
Among the selections were a couple that I’d never encountered in my size: deep cleavage bras. I don’t ever wear anything that would require such a low-cut bra — with a chest like mine, at least at my age, showing a lot of cleavage would be overkill — but even so, it was pretty fun to try them on.
Burrito seems to have even more conservative views. Both he and Tamale rarely have opinions on others’ clothing, good or bad (though they are huge fans of DH’s bear sweatshirt), but Burrito has very strong opinions about my shirts. Normally I wear crewnecks or high v-necks, but every time I wear a lower v-neck or scoop-neck, he freaks out. He starts patting my exposed chest frantically and chatters in a very concerned way, “mama shirt mama chest mama shirt!”
What’s your stance on cleavage?