Audit, Part 6
April 17, 2011
With my magnificent spreadsheets and several enormous folders of receipts that I didn’t have time to organize, on two hours of sleep, DH and I went to meet with the auditor.
We were on time, but after going through the metal detector and wandering all around the federal building (apparently someone should tell those security guards that “the IRS is on the 3rd floor” doesn’t apply to the audit department), we were 15 minutes late.
I was pleasantly surprised to find that our auditor was not the humorless bureaucrat that television had taught me she would be. She was a regular person. The first thing she said was that she understood what a difficult situation it was to be in, but that we didn’t need to freak out. Very human.
Although by nature I’m rather taciturn, when I am sleep-deprived I develop logorrhoea. I proceeded by blathering about how I understood why their red flags would have gone off but it’s all very explainable and here I have everything but I didn’t have time to sort it and I was up all night and we have twins and our nanny has been really unreliable and…
Auditor: “You’ll need to take all of that documentation home and put it in order. I don’t have time to go through thousands of receipts.”
I said, “Of course.”
I thought, “Neither do I! At least you’re getting paid for this! But ugh, fine.”
The auditor then said, “Wow, your spreadsheets are fantastic!”
Awwww yeah. I am the queen of the dorks.
Tomorrow, the auditor’s reaction to our medical bills.