Put To The Test
September 29, 2009
[Pregnancy update for those who have been concerned due to my silence over the past few days: 33 weeks today. Still at home for now. As of yesterday, cervix dilating a bit more and Baby A's head apparently can be felt through the cervix, so I have no idea whether birth is imminent, whether I'll be back in the hospital tomorrow, or whether I'll be able to come home after I see the perinatologist. I will post something in the evening so that I don't leave anyone anxious with suspense.]
A year ago I wrote about an old friend of mine, one who is likely to struggle with infertility due to her medical history. I also wrote about how we’re no longer close enough for me to bring up such topics.
Today, after almost a year since our last contact, she emailed me, asking if anything was new.
Obviously, being 33 weeks pregnant with twins qualifies as news.
Here is my chance to practice what infertiles preach: the art of the gentle pregnancy announcement.
- Do I just tell her about the impending babies, and that’s that?
- Do I tell her about the babies with a subtle hint about the length of time we’ve been waiting, leaving the door open for her if she wants to talk about IF?
- Do I flat-out tell her how these babies came to be, and extend the hand of infertile friendship?
1 or 2 would be my natural inclination, but I wonder if the situation calls for 3.
What would you do if you were me? That is, what would you do if you were generally secretive and taciturn, but also trying to be caring and helpful to someone who was your close friend more than a decade ago but is now a very casual acquaintance?