18w0d: All Eyes on Me

This weekend I attended a social event with lots of people that I used to know but haven’t seen in many, many years. It had huge potential for disaster, but went quite well. I didn’t mention being pregnant unless people asked outright — and for once, I had an easy and socially appealing answer to “Do you have kids yet?” Despite the fact that my belly is now bigger than my chest, which I never imagined would be possible, people didn’t guess that I am pregnant just by looking at me. It was more like:

Them: You look great! Do you have kids yet?
Me: We’re expecting in the fall.
Them: Wow! I didn’t even notice. Boy or girl?
Me: One of each.
Them: Wow! Twins! In that case you really look fantastic.

A far cry from the kinds of party conversations I used to imagine in my head:

Them: Do you have kids yet?
Me: No.
Them: Why not? What’s taking you so long?
Me: Uhhhhh…

Or:

Them: Do you have kids yet?
Me: No.
Them: Oh, I thought you might be pregnant because of that bulge in your belly.
Me: No, it’s from all of the failed cycles of IUI with injectible medications and IVFs, but thanks for noticing.

I did have one conversation which looked like it might become a nightmare, but instead went fine. A key component to my party nightmare scenario is a group of people crowded around me, staring at me. That’s exactly how it started.

[half a dozen people asking me all sorts of questions about my life and twin pregnancy]
One woman that used to be unpleasant but on this night was very nice: So were the twins created totally naturally?
[gasp!]
Me, very nonchalant: No.
Same woman, with a no-big-deal expression: That’s totally fine. You’re going to have so much fun…

I faced a crowd of people staring at me while I answered a question about infertility, and I lived to tell the tale.

Telling family would be another story, but a crowd of acquaintances and former friends is a start.