Holy Fucking Shit

[Breaking news from Madrid airport]

Remember how Perfunctory IUI #7 was only done to satisfy the insurance company that I’d failed enough injectible + IUI cycles to qualify for IVF with the Trick Up My Sleeve insurance?

Remember how I used expired/ruined FSH?

Remember how we skipped the pre-IUI sex?

Guess who got a positive beta!

I am flabbergasted. Cautious, dubious, cackling with laughter at the irony.

Contest: Guess the beta (12DPO) and win a prize. Either a present from my travels or some of my new pottery.

Barren Bitches post coming shortly.

Show and Tell: Passport

Since I’ll be using it in less than 24 hours to enter the homeland of Don Quixote, I thought I’d show you my passport. (And apologies in advance for less commenting and reading than usual for the next week. I’ll still post a couple of times for Barren Bitches Book Brigade and Thoughtful Thursday.)

I was quite surprised when I renewed my passport last year to see that they’d made some changes to the design. U.S. passports are renewed every 10 years, and these changes were made in 2007 to incorporate enhanced security features and presumably enhanced patriotism. It’s been described as “a coloring book that your brother already colored in”, “the ugly khaki shorts of passports”, and “Colbert-cliched”.

The cover hasn’t changed much.

The blank pages used to be pretty close to blank — blue, with an eagle insignia lightly printed. Every passport from another country that I can recall seeing is also quite simple.

Not anymore. Apparently, they decided that the eagle and “United States of America” on the cover wasn’t obvious enough. Every page now screams, “America!” and most include an inspirational quote.

Here is the Independence Hall/Liberty Bell page with the visas from my trip to Asia last fall:

Here are some of the many pages still awaiting stamps.

Free-roaming buffalo, a thing of the past:

Mount Rushmore:

The Heartland of America:

Cowboys:

And my old friend the Statue of Liberty:

I have not included the following pages: information such as ways that I can lose my citizenship and a reminder not to carry illegal drugs across borders (with a mountain background), a reminder that I’m still obligated to pay taxes even if I live outside the U.S. (Hawaiian background), a ship at sea approaching a lighthouse, a steamboat on the river, a locomotive spewing smoke across the countryside, Alaskan totem pole and bear eating a salmon, satellite orbiting earth, and the emergency contact (cactus background) and photo page. C’mon, you didn’t think I was going to show you my passport photo, did you?

Go around the world in a different sense at Show and Tell.

Thoughtful Thursday: Socks

It’s a new month, and that means a new crop of Intelligentsia (people who have commented on every Thoughtful Thursday post for the month of February). Returning from her January Intelligentsia appearance is Wiseguy from Woman Anyone?, the only two-time Intelligentsia member. She has some fine company this month:

Ernessa from Fierce and Nerdy
Fattykins from I Can’t Wash My Jeans, My Fat Is In The Way
Heather from Joys In My Life
Leslie Laine from What You’re Not Expecting When You’re Trying to Expect
Mel a.k.a. Lollipop Goldstein from Stirrup Queens and Sperm Palace Jesters
Shalini from By the Pricking of My Thumbs

Thanks for your diligence, ladies! If you would like the icon for your sidebar and need the code, let me know. Otherwise, enjoy your bling and your accolades. Y’all come back now, ya hear?

Onto the main event. This week’s Thoughtful Thursday will focus on socks. Huh? Yes, socks.

The topic was inspired by Kym’s Great Sock-It-To-Me Exchange (signups end on FridaySunday, but if you hurry you can still join in the fun!). Send a pair, get a pair. Make a couple of new friends. Fend off the winter chill, snuggle up filled with bloggy camaraderie, or bring yourself some good luck for an upcoming cycle (even though many of us have come to realize that we don’t believe in luck).

The Sock-It-To-Me exchange actually won’t be the first time I’ve sent socks to another blogger. You may recall the Mojo Sock giveaway, in which I found redemption following an unfortunate pottery calamity through the simple purchase and gift of some socks. I am so thrilled to say that the donor FET in which Miss Conception wore the Mojo Socks has resulted in a twin pregnancy, about to reach the 14 week mark. I don’t believe in luck, but I just might believe in Mojo.

Oh, and Miss Conception would like to pass along some kindness of her own. If you are in the U.S. or Canada can use any of the following extra meds, please email missyconception at gmail .com:

1 full box of Crinone (18 applicators) worth $400…free to a good home
1 bottle of Prometrium (100mg tablets x 41)
1 Bottle of Estrace (2mg tablets x 17)

Enough thoughtful giving. Now, time for the usual kind of thoughtfulness.

Once “lucky” socks have been worn for a fertility treatment (IUI, embryo transfer, etc.), what happens next?

It’s pretty clear what happens when the cycle works. There are many cases in the blogosphere of socks from a successful cycle being passed along to someone else, in the hopes that the success would also be passed along.

Before her transfer, Miss Conception talked about visualizing herself wearing the Mojo Socks at delivery, waddling down the hallway of the hospital as labor progressed. In addition to the transfer, she has worn them at several ultrasounds, continuing the power of the Mojo.

But what happens to socks from an unsuccessful cycle? Move them into your normal sock rotation? Banish them? Wear them for a future cycle?

I’m not so superstitious as to discard “unlucky” socks, but I can understand the impulse. The socks I wore for IVF #2 retrieval are in my normal rotation now — wool socks are quite useful under winter boots, regardless of the zany stripes. I don’t believe that they’re cursed or anything, but I still wouldn’t wear them for IVF #3, especially now that I’ll have my new Sock-It-To-Me socks.

There’s an added layer of complexity if socks are a gift. If you give someone socks for a cycle that turns out to be unsuccessful, should you feel bad? My happiness for Miss Conception was combined with relief that I didn’t jinx her.

I realize that this doesn’t have the gravitas of some of the other Thoughtful Thursday topics, but it’s something that many of us have to deal with, and something that I’ve never heard discussed elsewhere. You can play along whether you’ve worn “lucky” socks for a treatment, whether you’ve done IF treatments but haven’t worn special socks, or whether you’ve never done IF treatments.

What should you do with socks from an unsuccessful cycle?

Omega Woman (or, I Am Legend)

I did not encounter a single person today. I emailed and blogged and talked on the phone, but I did not come within 50 feet of another human being, nor talk to anyone face to face. I did make physical contact with my cat and talk to her, but I don’t think that counts.

There have been a few days in my life where I didn’t make any contact because DH was away and I didn’t leave the house, but this is the first time I can ever remember that I left the house for several hours yet did not bump into another human being.

DH out of town + snowstorm causing snow day for literally millions of people = the last woman on earth.

Don’t worry, I wasn’t lonely. Mostly, I missed DH’s snow shoveling abilities, and perhaps some of his interpersonal charms — but mostly the shoveling. Everyone else I could take or leave.

After spending an hour shoveling myself out of the driveway, I finally made it to Old Job, where I discovered that I was the only person who had come in. As of noon when I arrived, mine were the first footprints in the snow approaching any of the building’s entrances. You know, I never actually got an email saying that everything was closed — I am pretty sure an email should go out in situations like this. Apparently everyone else used common sense.

Perfect Moment Monday: Revisionist History

Note to aspiring Intelligentsia: You still have a couple of days to submit your Thoughtful Thursday comment. I will finalize the February Intelligentsia list on Wednesday night.

And now, the Perfect Moment.

My mother has a broad-stroke knowledge of politics, to put it mildly, but in many ways I consider her opinions to be the pulse of the nation. Less than a year ago, she referred to Obama as “that black guy.” Now, almost every day she brings up some Obama news — never having anything to do with the actual job of being President.

• “Obama was on TV today.” (She says this almost every day.)
• “Did you like Michelle Obama’s yellow suit from the inauguration?”
• “Sasha and Malia’s hair always looks so nice.”
• “Sasha always wants her dad to carry her. She is too old for that. Why is she such a baby?”
• “Malia was on TV wearing a pretty coat. I saw a little boy today who wasn’t wearing a coat at all! What kind of parent doesn’t put a coat on a little kid? I always made you wear a coat.”

This weekend, she brought up a photo she’d seen of several presidents together. I think she must be referring to the meeting at the White House in January.

Mom: I saw a picture with all of the presidents. Obama, Bush, Ronald Reagan…
Me: Ronald Reagan is dead, Mom.
Mom: Are you sure?
Me: I’m sure he’s dead. I’m not sure if you saw a photo of him.
Mom: Oh. Then Obama, Old Bush, Young Bush, and Hillary’s husband.

It is a great day for feminism.

I’m pretty sure that Lori from Weebles Wobblog can name most of the living presidents.