Post-Op Quotables

For a surgery in which I had nothing to report, the last post about my hysteroscopy was ludicrously long. Here is a relatively short post — within the limits of my verbose nature.

1. Overheard through the curtain between another patient and a nurse — I was actually trying not to listen and just read my Vogue, but when other people are having a conversation at full volume and the only barrier is a piece of fabric, eavesdropping is inevitable.

Nurse: You’ll need to take (dosage) of aspirin.
Patient: How about Excedrin? I have Excedrin at home.
Nurse: I think that is aspirin, but I’d have to look it up. Why don’t you just go to the pharmacy and buy regular aspirin on your way home.

(Really? First of all, I was shocked that a nurse wouldn’t know the ingredients of one of the most basic over-the-counter medicines. Though, to be fair, there are now more than half a dozen versions of Excedrin. But still — I’ve never taken Excedrin and I know that regular Excedrin contains acetominophin and caffeine, but that some other formulations also contain aspirin. Excedrin is “The Headache Medicine,” thanks to the caffeine — since a huge number of people have headaches due to caffeine withdrawal. Yes, yes, I realize I know far too much about over the counter medications, especially for someone who almost always refuses to take painkillers and has never experienced caffeine withdrawal in her life, but still. I find it bothersome when I know more than people whose job it is to know something, and I start to wonder about the implications for how they might treat or mistreat me.

Second of all, really? She couldn’t take a minute to look it up or ask someone? If it had been just plain aspirin, such as Bayer, it would be pretty dumb to make a patient stop at the pharmacy on the way home from surgery to either spend needless money or find out that the trip was wasted.)

2. After I’d regained consciousness.
   Me: Did Dr. Full Steam Ahead explain everything to you?
   DH: Yes. He also showed me some pictures of the inside of your uterus.
   Me: Ooh! Were they fascinating?
   DH: Um… no. They were pink.